Happy New Year!
Well it is 2013, have your children seen their mom or dad yet? Well if not folks, lets wake up and get on new things this year.
If you are the victim of the child support system or if you are considering victimizing someone with child support, let me say this; God does NOT like ugly. Too many of our children and we as black race are losing because of this madness.
Educate yourself before letting the system into your lives. Don't get me wrong as I have stated several times before, I am by no means in the corner of deadbeat mothers and fathers, true deadbeats that is. There is one thing that I have come to realize. All so called deadbeat parents are not deadbeats, and the child support system can turn a good parent into a deadbeat. I also know that even if you have invinvited the powers that be into your lives, unless you have received state assistance, you can easily kick them out.
With these few things in mind, think and pray hard before lives are ruined. With God in the picture anything is possible.
Peace and love brothers and sisters.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
We all heard this as kids during a time when boys were too yound to like girls and girls were too young to like boys, "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage." If it were that easy this world would be a much better place. Unfortunately love may never enter the picture and neither will marriage but that doesn't stop the baby carriage.
In a perfect world, the decision to have children would be more carefully planned out. But even in an imperfect world there are people that love each other and have children and stay in the relationship or marriage for years to come. Well right now these are the people that I am speaking to. These are some of the most misguided when it comes to the subject of child support because they think that this system will never affect them. I have spoken to many males and all of the ones in relationships don't really want to speak on the issue because they are in a relationship and they say "It's all good, I take care of my kids so I know if anything does happen she won't try and get me for child support." Well guess what, you need to think again. There is nothing like the heart of a man or woman scorned. All it takes is for one of you to show up with your new boyfriend or girlfriend, or announce there is a new baby coming, or for one of the kids to like the new boy or girlfriend. How easy it is now for that parent to seek out justice through the Division of Child Support Enforcement.
Get educated. The Division of Child Support Enforcement is a system filled with injustice. It tears families apart and ruins childrens lives. Parents come together for the sake of your children. If your relationship or marriage is blessed enough to stand the test of time then praise God, and Hallelujah, but if it doesn't, well the more you know, of course the better off your children will be in the end. Don't put the law in control of the relationships that you as parents have with your children. You make think because the court has ordered a monthly or weekly payment, you win, but you have actually lost more than you could ever imagine. I know that monetary support is must when it comes to taking care of a child or children, I also know that there is a better route than D.C.S.E.
God Bless
In a perfect world, the decision to have children would be more carefully planned out. But even in an imperfect world there are people that love each other and have children and stay in the relationship or marriage for years to come. Well right now these are the people that I am speaking to. These are some of the most misguided when it comes to the subject of child support because they think that this system will never affect them. I have spoken to many males and all of the ones in relationships don't really want to speak on the issue because they are in a relationship and they say "It's all good, I take care of my kids so I know if anything does happen she won't try and get me for child support." Well guess what, you need to think again. There is nothing like the heart of a man or woman scorned. All it takes is for one of you to show up with your new boyfriend or girlfriend, or announce there is a new baby coming, or for one of the kids to like the new boy or girlfriend. How easy it is now for that parent to seek out justice through the Division of Child Support Enforcement.
Get educated. The Division of Child Support Enforcement is a system filled with injustice. It tears families apart and ruins childrens lives. Parents come together for the sake of your children. If your relationship or marriage is blessed enough to stand the test of time then praise God, and Hallelujah, but if it doesn't, well the more you know, of course the better off your children will be in the end. Don't put the law in control of the relationships that you as parents have with your children. You make think because the court has ordered a monthly or weekly payment, you win, but you have actually lost more than you could ever imagine. I know that monetary support is must when it comes to taking care of a child or children, I also know that there is a better route than D.C.S.E.
God Bless
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Celebrate Strength and Unity
Well it's February and we all know that February is black history month. Well in honor of black history month I want to salute all of the black parents who have chosen to stick to together and make things work for the children. Thank you for not letting the court or child support system come into your lives and cause problems. Thank you for being a positive example in your child's eyes and the eyes of the world. If you are parents that are still together whether married, engaged, living together or just together but in seperate households, thank you because you are showing your children that black families are capable of creating children and staying together which means they are more likely to do the same. If you are parents that tried to make the marriage or relationship work and it just didn't but you all still share the children equally and keep the children with a positive image of both of you, well kudos to you because you have shown great strength to your children and have taught them that eventhough relationships don't always work out, that has nothing to do with the love and commitment that you both as parents have for you children.
When we can come together as parents, especially as black parents, that is the first step in making sure our offspring are successful in life, love and relationships. As we exude positivity even in the midst of tragedy we are bound for success. In whatever you do, if there are little eyes watching and looking to you for all of the answers, let's try our best to think about everyone's future that could potentially be affected by our actions.
Peace and Love, God Bless.
When we can come together as parents, especially as black parents, that is the first step in making sure our offspring are successful in life, love and relationships. As we exude positivity even in the midst of tragedy we are bound for success. In whatever you do, if there are little eyes watching and looking to you for all of the answers, let's try our best to think about everyone's future that could potentially be affected by our actions.
Peace and Love, God Bless.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Be Careful Where You Shine the Light
I will keep this short and sweet at this hour. To those of you that are quick to pass judgement before knowing all of one's circumstances, be very careful. As you are shining the light on one to say what he or she is or is not doing, the light could just as easily be turned around and before you know it, you are now in the spotlight.
I understand that women are the majority(key word, majority) as it relates to being affected by receiving or not receiving child support payments, so right now it is the women I speak to. The injustice that men receive who truly cannot afford to pay what some of us deem sufficient has just gone too far. There are many women that have thankfully not allowed the courts into their lives, but little do they know, eventually the courts may just decide to interject themselves. There are women that have made it know the struggles they are going through to take care of their children and believe that if they can do it why can't the father of the child or children. Well be careful, that struggle that you are going through while trying to send the father away or open up doors for him to suffer extreme consequences can certainly turn around on you. You see yourselves as being strong and doing what it takes because as women, especially because the child is usually with us, well that is just what we do. Remember though, our strength, if the door is opened, can be turned on us and made to look like a weekness. Just be careful when broadcasting your financial situations as well as your living situations, that the dad you condem for possible doing the best he can could just as easily put you in the hot seat.
Call me old fashioned but I firmly believe in the golden rule: Do unto others, as you want them to do unto you. I know myself from experience that I always wanted my child to see me as strong and determined. It never mattered what her dad was or wasn't doing, I still had to do what I had to do to make sure we both lived good lives. Throughout all of the sacrifes and going without that I had to endure I know that I am a stronger and better person. It is important I believe to not have to answer the question of , "Mommy why, why did you take my dad from me?" At the end of the day, I still win. I look wonderful in my Lord and Saviours eyes and I remain my child's hero.
This wasn't as short as I thought it was going to be but what the hey.
God Bless
I understand that women are the majority(key word, majority) as it relates to being affected by receiving or not receiving child support payments, so right now it is the women I speak to. The injustice that men receive who truly cannot afford to pay what some of us deem sufficient has just gone too far. There are many women that have thankfully not allowed the courts into their lives, but little do they know, eventually the courts may just decide to interject themselves. There are women that have made it know the struggles they are going through to take care of their children and believe that if they can do it why can't the father of the child or children. Well be careful, that struggle that you are going through while trying to send the father away or open up doors for him to suffer extreme consequences can certainly turn around on you. You see yourselves as being strong and doing what it takes because as women, especially because the child is usually with us, well that is just what we do. Remember though, our strength, if the door is opened, can be turned on us and made to look like a weekness. Just be careful when broadcasting your financial situations as well as your living situations, that the dad you condem for possible doing the best he can could just as easily put you in the hot seat.
Call me old fashioned but I firmly believe in the golden rule: Do unto others, as you want them to do unto you. I know myself from experience that I always wanted my child to see me as strong and determined. It never mattered what her dad was or wasn't doing, I still had to do what I had to do to make sure we both lived good lives. Throughout all of the sacrifes and going without that I had to endure I know that I am a stronger and better person. It is important I believe to not have to answer the question of , "Mommy why, why did you take my dad from me?" At the end of the day, I still win. I look wonderful in my Lord and Saviours eyes and I remain my child's hero.
This wasn't as short as I thought it was going to be but what the hey.
God Bless
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Being Informed and Open Minded
I believe that there are more of you out that are not aware that the Child Support System is one of the only systems that for the most part does not see gender, race, or financial circumstances. A lot of women do not realize that D.C.S.E. issues rules, and consequences that do not just affect the males. There are currently women serving jail time for "Not being able (key words not able) to meet certain financial standards when it comes to the well being of their children." Most times if a woman is in jail for this, there was what I consider to be a (word for female dog) butt man that got his lawyers to put her there. In my eyes personally, I believe it is wrong to let the state come out on top when it comes to child support. No one should be jailed regardless to if they can pay and will not, or they want to pay but can't. The only being that I have ever known to fully forgive and wipe slates clean is Jesus Christ. But when one enters a jail cell, it is true that they have time if they are there for not wanting to pay to think and possibly turn over a new leaf, but it's no sense in trying to turn over a new leaf at this point because they've now obtained a felony on their record and now whether it is a minimum wage or high salary job that they seek or qualify for, the odds are almost always going to be against them; so now with their changed heart and clarity it is just that much harder for them to do what is "right" by the child. Let's keep in mind that while they were locked up by the state, the jail or prison they were in certainly got paid for filling that cell/bed. What did the child get or have a chance of getting once that parent (mom or dad) was taken away? What about the parent that wanted to pay but either couldn't find a job or was laid off, now they are in jail for circumstances beyond their control, and now there is a felony for non-support on his or her record.
I understand that quality time doesn't take the place of financial support, I never said it should. But.....if the parent CANNOT pay, but is willing to be at home and provide quality time because it is the most they can offer while the other parent works or job hunts because neither of you can afford daycare, or take walks and teach the child or children life lessons then so be it. To say that quality doesn't matter when that is all one is capable of is absurd. I was once a single mother, I have witnessed both sides. I believe that both parents should put in equal efforts when it comes to their kids, but if the case is that the other parent truly cannot pay what the courts deem sufficient and they are truly doing their best, NO WAY should I introduce them to the modern day slavery system designed for all genders and races for something they have no control over, and even if they just don't want to pay, I am not God, and am not anyone's judge or jury. They will ultimately get what they deserve, but best believe so will those who had a hand in sending them away.
God Bless
I understand that quality time doesn't take the place of financial support, I never said it should. But.....if the parent CANNOT pay, but is willing to be at home and provide quality time because it is the most they can offer while the other parent works or job hunts because neither of you can afford daycare, or take walks and teach the child or children life lessons then so be it. To say that quality doesn't matter when that is all one is capable of is absurd. I was once a single mother, I have witnessed both sides. I believe that both parents should put in equal efforts when it comes to their kids, but if the case is that the other parent truly cannot pay what the courts deem sufficient and they are truly doing their best, NO WAY should I introduce them to the modern day slavery system designed for all genders and races for something they have no control over, and even if they just don't want to pay, I am not God, and am not anyone's judge or jury. They will ultimately get what they deserve, but best believe so will those who had a hand in sending them away.
God Bless
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Child Support, a double edge sword.
The child support system was designed long ago with great intentions. If there was a mother and her family that needed support the towns people would pitch in so that this family could survive. They would later seek to find the estranged husband/father for repayment. Today the child support system has changed and there have become severe consequences to all involved. Don't get me wrong, the child support system does help some families but, they are very guilty of letting one rotten apple spoil the entire bunch. While there are parents out there that are truly unable to pay child support in a monetary fashion, those same parents are willing to give in ways that the "paying" parent may not be willing, i.e., quality time. Quality time in many cases can be more valuable than a check. There are moms and dads that ask for ridiculous amounts for payment, and when the other party cannot pay, the courts become more deeply involved and the consequences for the "non-paying" parent can be as serious as prison time, in the end, all parties lose.
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